Most people researching this are working through the same short list of questions and would rather not ask anyone. So here they are, answered directly.
"Does it mean something about my sexuality?"
No. The prostate is a body part that responds to pressure. Who you're attracted to is unrelated, and plenty of straight men in relationships own one. This is the question that stops people buying, so it goes first.
"Will it hurt?"
Not if you go slowly and use enough lubricant. Pain is a signal that something is wrong — usually not enough lube, moving too fast, or a product that's too big. It isn't something to push through.
The single biggest cause of a bad first experience is buying too large.
"What size should I get?"
Smaller than you think. Around 8–10 cm of insertable length and 2.5–3 cm across is a sensible first purchase.
Here's why: the prostate is only a few centimetres in. Extra length reaches nothing. What matters is the upward curve of the shaft, not the size. A big product isn't a better product, it's just harder to start with.
You can always go bigger later. Starting too big usually means one uncomfortable attempt and a €60 item in a drawer forever.
"Do I need to prepare beforehand?"
A shower and washing externally is genuinely enough for most people. Anything more involved isn't necessary as a routine and can cause irritation if you overdo it. Put a towel down — it removes a distraction and that's most of the benefit.
"What lube, and how much?"
Water-based lube. Not optional — this area doesn't self-lubricate.
Use more than feels sensible, and reapply during rather than pushing through friction. Water-based dries out, which is solved by adding a bit more or a splash of water.
Three things to avoid:
- Silicone lube on a silicone toy — it bonds to the surface and permanently ruins it
- Oil-based anything — hard to clean, lingers
- Warming, tingling or numbing formulas — numbing especially, because it removes the feedback telling you to slow down
"Which shape do I actually want?"
For a first one, keep it simple:
- Simple curved — one shaft, nothing else. Nothing to get wrong.
- With a perineum arm — an external arm sits against the perineum and vibrates there too. It also helps hold the thing in place, which is genuinely useful when you're new. The App-Controlled Prostate Massager with Perineum Stimulation (€59.90) is this type, and the one most beginners should start with.
Leave these for later, once you know what you like:
- Beaded — more sensation on movement, but more to manage: App-Controlled Beaded Prostate Massager (€52.90)
- Thrusting — moves on its own, a preference rather than an upgrade
- Rotating — the 360° Rotating model (€62.90)
- With a ring — the 2-in-1 Prostate Massager & Cock Ring (€54.90) if you want both at once
The one safety rule
Whatever you buy must have a flared base — wider than the widest part of the shaft, flat and firm. This is the actual reason to buy a purpose-made product rather than improvising, and it's not negotiable. Everything in our range is built this way.
"Do I need the app version?"
Not for a first purchase. App control is genuinely useful for a partner controlling it or building custom patterns, but the buttons on the device are what you'll use most of the time. Don't let it drive the decision.
Same for mode counts. "Twelve modes" means about three intensities and nine variations on a pattern. You'll settle on two.
First time, in order
- Warm shower.
- Warm up externally first, don't go straight for it.
- Lots of lube, insert slowly, stop entirely if there's pain.
- Leave the motor on the lowest setting at first. Let things settle before turning it up.
- Don't set a goal for the first attempt. Most people's first time is about getting comfortable, not about a result.
Cleaning
Warm water and unscented soap before and after, paying attention to where the shaft meets the base. Dry fully. Store separately in a pouch. Never boil or dishwash anything with a motor in it.
One honest note
You'll see these sold with medical benefits attached. These are wellness products, not medical devices. If you have prostate symptoms, urinary problems, or you're on a treatment plan, talk to a doctor — don't self-treat with something bought online, and be wary of any seller promising health outcomes.
FAQ
How much should a first one cost?
Enough to get real body-safe silicone and a sealed rechargeable build — realistically €50–65. Below that you're buying porous material.
Vibrating or non-vibrating for a first?
Either. Vibration adds sensation; non-vibrating gives you more control over pressure. Neither is the "proper" starting point.
Can I use one with a partner?
Yes, and many people find it easier — someone else controlling it removes the awkwardness of managing it yourself.
How long before it feels like anything?
For a lot of people, not the first time. It usually takes a few relaxed attempts. That's normal and not a sign anything's wrong.